17 replies to this topic

[dutch]

How on earth do you possibly know? Number 2 is due in 8 weeks and I'm feeling really confused, we kept everything of DD's (even though we thought we were only having 1) which is lucky because at least we have some baby clothes and toys and don't need to buy much if it's a girl. (Well we probably will as Ruby was a summer baby and this one is Autumn so the sizes might not match the season.)

But I'm not sure where to go from here, do we keep all of the baby things again 'just in case'. We are really short on space as it is so it would mean keeping it all at MIL's which I feel really bad about (although they do have a big house). Or do we get rid of it all, only keep the awesome stuff and wait and see.

Part of me feels like I'll be finished after this one, the first 20-25 weeks is a complete write off for me as I get terrible morning sicknes (all day sickness) and just don't cope very well. So that part really puts me off. I think I've also been put off as DH is doing crazy hours at work and for the last 4 weeks I've been feeling like a single parent, he gets in late, eats, goes to bed, gets up and goes back to work.

I think if we have a boy then DH will be finished, but if it's another girl I'm 99% sure he will want to try for a third (although he has told me he would never force me to have another and it's just as much my choice as it is his, he knows how hard pregnancy is on my body).

Bah, I'm just so bloody confused and don't know what I want, I think 2 is simple and easy, achievable financially etc. Three justs seems like an odd number, expensive and hard work.

[Candy_Apple]

I always wanted to know the answer to this question. I thought I would NEVER be done having kids but I just know this time round, that baby will be my last.

For me it is a whole heap of things - Ive always said I want 3 kids (this babe will be #3). I want to be done having kids by the time Im 30 (I'll be 30 next year), I really don't do pregnancy well, DH will be 50 next year, his older kids will be ready to have kids soon (they are 20 and 22 and one is engaged), we really can't afford anymore kids. The list goes on and on and on.

As for all the baby stuff, I culled heaps. My BFF had a little girl when our youngest was 6 months so I gave her heaps of stuff. I sold heaps of stuff but I still have plenty left. I think that if you are not sure just keep the awesome stuff and wait and see.

I can totally see now how people say that you just know you are done having kids. I don't think you will understand until you 'get it' If that makes sense?

[dutch]

Thanks CA! I think in my head this is the last, but in my heart I'm not so sure. My heart is really telling me anything, maybe because the logical, practical brain is talking too loudly! I also want to be done by 30 and I'm 29 in May (and don't plan on having two close together)
I suppose I'm not saying I'm totally finished, I'll leave the door open a little, but I think for the moment it's just not on the radar.

Financially we can't buy a house unless I work full time and I've already told DH I won't be going back to work FT until both kids are at school. (I never had maternity leave with DD, worked in labour and right after the birth, was from home, but I didn't really make her my number one priority) I really regret how the last 3 years have gone, but I try not to dwell on it, only 3 weeks left and then I'll be free to be a great mumma!

[kaznkidz]

They say you just know and guess what i NEVER believed people that said it! I still yearned for another after my last, baby number 6. BUT when she turned one i realised i felt complete and was done

Little did i know that baby number 7 had just started forming lmao>
So i say you will know

[lediva]

haha!For me I just knew that ds was my last! no more for me #2 seems to be our magic number. but having said that my tubes aren't tied, dh hasnt had the 'snip' and I'm only on the pill! Maybe prayers help too! lmaof.

[Emwill]

I wish I knew! Some days I thinks 4 is enough, but more often than not I yearn for one or two more.
I don't want to get rid of any of my baby stuff, but DH has said no more babies as he turns 49 this year so I guess it's just taking up space.
I am really enjoying raising my kids and am not sure how to move on or if i'll be any good at it?! If that makes sense.
I also felt I got better at it all the more kids we had - from the birth to been the type of mother I have always wanted to be.
But at the same time I can see DH getting older and less patient with the little ones than he was with the bigger kids and know it is unfair to hold onto this stage when he needs to move on....
Ahh... so complicated!! At least with 4 kids I can almost be guaranteed grandbabies in the future to spoil!!! But it's still not the same and I hope that done feeling does eventually arrive

[Lis86]

We have two. While I'm not 100% I am finished that yearning has definitely gone now, youngest is 2.5. My children still don't sleep, so that is a big reason too. My body literally just can't handle the sleep deprivation anymore, let alone the newborn phase.

That said I am only 25 and I just can't say that I won't want more kids two or three years down the track. Although if we don't have another by the time we r 30 then I think that will be it. Financially if makes sense to just have the two boys and I really do love the dynamics of the family now. So I'm not 100% but I'm also not clucky when I see a newborn. that feeling definitely does come with time and as their is no babies now I do love the freedom it brings

[RosieMum]

No idea, after I had DS1 I was done. I was in labour, a midwife asked what I thought it was (boy or girl) I replied an only child. And it took a lot of convincing from DH to have another.

Minutes after I had DS2 (my DH missed his birth and it was before he was there) I said I could do that again, straight away. Though we have had a lot of bad sleep nights I still say the same thing. DS2 is so much more settled than DS1 ever was. Though if there s another, it will be after a lot of sleep is caught up on.

[Plentiful]

We were only having one. Except we had number two almost 5 years later. Very much an oops babe, but loved all the same. As soon as I had him, our family was complete. Two boys, mum and dad and we are very happy and our hearts are full:)

[LeeJ]

I have been wondering this myself, I treated L's pregnancy like it was the last, as it was so hard, I don't think I could do it again. We have just enough space for 3 kids, dh is getting older, more pressure financially with 3... all that jazz.

Contraception and me don't work well, so we are intending on dh getting the snip, but we will wait a little bit, JIC...

[Breezy]

I don't feel done yet but doesnt seem as there are anymore coming soon.

[ButterflyMumma]

my DD turns 10 next Sunday and its only in the last month that i'm starting to feel 'done'. Yes I still get that clucky thing happening, but its not as bad as it used to be. I think i'm starting to see the end of the 'baby tunnel' so to speak, and even though I love this part so much, i'm treating it all as a new adventure as they all start getting older.

[coopersmum]

well i have another thought on this... when do you decide its time for another one? we have mr coop at the moment, i work part time in child care and hubby works 5 or 5 days a week as a car salesman... i want another baby but im petrified that we will fall into debt or something else that will make it impossible to survive... (ive always been a worst case scenario type of person )...

plus how many of you have throught of surgery after a baby to make sure you dont have anymore... i know it is extreme and most of the surgeries are permenant and may not be for everyone but those are the two main questions that go through my head... sorry for hyjacking :S

[4Cherubs]

Kane was born when the girls were almost 6yrs. We kept nothing as it is easily bought again. Get rid of it & buy new/second hand if you go again.

Definately done here. 4 is just rightplus I hate uneven numbers LOL.

coopersmum, on 19 January 2012 - 10:55 AM, said:

well i have another thought on this... when do you decide its time for another one? we have mr coop at the moment, i work part time in child care and hubby works 5 or 5 days a week as a car salesman... i want another baby but im petrified that we will fall into debt or something else that will make it impossible to survive... (ive always been a worst case scenario type of person )...

plus how many of you have throught of surgery after a baby to make sure you dont have anymore... i know it is extreme and most of the surgeries are permenant and may not be for everyone but those are the two main questions that go through my head... sorry for hyjacking :S

We decided to TTC when eldest turned 2. Seemed like a good age gap & thought it would take 6 or more months to get pregnant again. We'd just bought our 1st home too.

Hubby got the snip when Kane was 4 months old. He was happy to get it done.

[coopersmum]

4Cherubs, on 19 January 2012 - 11:47 AM, said:

Kane was born when the girls were almost 6yrs. We kept nothing as it is easily bought again. Get rid of it & buy new/second hand if you go again.

Definately done here. 4 is just rightplus I hate uneven numbers LOL.

coopersmum, on 19 January 2012 - 10:55 AM, said:

well i have another thought on this... when do you decide its time for another one? we have mr coop at the moment, i work part time in child care and hubby works 5 or 5 days a week as a car salesman... i want another baby but im petrified that we will fall into debt or something else that will make it impossible to survive... (ive always been a worst case scenario type of person )...

plus how many of you have throught of surgery after a baby to make sure you dont have anymore... i know it is extreme and most of the surgeries are permenant and may not be for everyone but those are the two main questions that go through my head... sorry for hyjacking :S

We decided to TTC when eldest turned 2. Seemed like a good age gap & thought it would take 6 or more months to get pregnant again. We'd just bought our 1st home too.

Hubby got the snip when Kane was 4 months old. He was happy to get it done.

and you were able to cope? well it gives me a little more hope but i think we will need to have a bit more of an age gap (coop is already 2y 7mths lol)

[rhyb]

For me I'm not done but with all the things going on in life atm I should probably leave it for now (DH going to study, me studying from home while juggling 4 kids and DS' daily appts)

[4Cherubs]

coopersmum, on 19 January 2012 - 04:21 PM, said:

4Cherubs, on 19 January 2012 - 11:47 AM, said:

Kane was born when the girls were almost 6yrs. We kept nothing as it is easily bought again. Get rid of it & buy new/second hand if you go again.

Definately done here. 4 is just rightplus I hate uneven numbers LOL.

coopersmum, on 19 January 2012 - 10:55 AM, said:

well i have another thought on this... when do you decide its time for another one? we have mr coop at the moment, i work part time in child care and hubby works 5 or 5 days a week as a car salesman... i want another baby but im petrified that we will fall into debt or something else that will make it impossible to survive... (ive always been a worst case scenario type of person )...

plus how many of you have throught of surgery after a baby to make sure you dont have anymore... i know it is extreme and most of the surgeries are permenant and may not be for everyone but those are the two main questions that go through my head... sorry for hyjacking :S

We decided to TTC when eldest turned 2. Seemed like a good age gap & thought it would take 6 or more months to get pregnant again. We'd just bought our 1st home too.

Hubby got the snip when Kane was 4 months old. He was happy to get it done.

and you were able to cope? well it gives me a little more hope but i think we will need to have a bit more of an age gap (coop is already 2y 7mths lol)

I had twins so no, was a struggle, huge struggle.

[coopersmum]

:O wow...
i raise a glass to you for going through it! that would have been really hard to do...